rituals of self-care: from survival and strival to thrival – part three

thrival state

Part three of a three-part series

Thriving is the narrowing of the gap between how we long for our life to be and how it truly is. This state of being begins with a decision to move beyond mediocrity, shame and “shoulds” and towards authenticity. When we thrive, we serve the world uniquely and abundantly because we have first met our needs.

Thriving is characterized by:


  • nourishment coming from foods that medicate, not sedate
  • health that transcends the absence of symptoms, to radiant well-being
  • arising in the morning with a sense of inspired purpose vs dreadful monotony
  • abundant energy flowing not from false stimulants like coffee and sugar but from inspired purpose, adequate rest and nutrition
  • saying “no” without apology or intensity
  • gentle, patient compassion for self and others
  • embracing the quiet as a source of strength vs torture
  • a thoughtful consideration of future self in moment to moment choices
  • deep understanding of the connection between self care and your ability to serve the world as only you can

Some possible approaches to bring us closer to a state of “thrival”:

  • craft a consistent morning ritual of learning and reflection
  • say yes to your daily habits before reacting robotically to outside demands
  • consider a successful day one in which you showed up for yourself
  • eat whole foods to make you whole
  • expose yourself to nature, even if for only a moment, to draw inspiration from its beauty and order
  • reserve moments before a meal to express gratitude and to go inward
  • unplug technology to plug into yourself
  • immerse yourself in a warm bath, washing away the debris of dysfunctional thoughts
  • make eye contact with self in mirror and with others, tenderly communicating “I see you”
Select one suggestion you would like to implement in your daily routine until it becomes habit. Then expand as you wish. Remember that thriving is not about perfection but about alignment with your best self in that moment. Judgement and shaming only throw us back into the lower states of being, thus depriving the world and ourselves of our unique bounty. Few of us reside in “thrival” every moment of every day. It may be only a brief encounter but that experience is enough to crave more, to craft a visionary structure to our lives. This state of generous clarity is available to us all. It is our birthright.