Self-neglect is selfish

Many of us wake up with tasks swirling in our heads before our feet hit the floor. Rush replaces reason and we lose ourselves in doing. Actually more likely overdoing, especially in the service to others, their priorities, and their tasks that they either avoided or delegated because they knew we would compensate for their lack. That is what we do. Ever ready to show up for everyone and everything else, our ego gets a boost from being the reliable, responsible, productive ones. We kind of like it that way.

We complain, however, about how tired we are, how we can never get everything done, how we failed to get to the gym again, how we softened the edges with sugar again, how the day is too short, and the “to do” list too long. The nagging question of “What about me?” haunts us in our martyrdom.

We forget that we have a duty to tend to this life of ours.

The reflex of putting our needs on the bottom of the list (if on the list at all) takes a massive toll. Not only do we put our bodies and spirits in jeopardy, we bring the burned out, resentful, and depleted versions of ourselves to the people and tasks that deserve our full attention.

The basics like fresh air, exercise, healthy meals eaten sitting down, stretching, and time just to think, seem to elude us as we relentlessly pursue productivity and other people’s priorities. These fundamental human needs reach luxury status in our devotion to doing.

It behooves us to rise to the responsibility of being a human being. It is not only our birthright but our obligation to be the best version of ourselves. Tending to our needs means we can tend to our responsibilities with clarity, abundance, and vitality. The world needs us at our most evolved state. Time to step up to the selfless act of showing up for ourselves.


Resentment is a reliable indicator that we are giving too much. When resentment arises, we can simply ask ourselves: “What do I need?” and wait long enough for the answer to appear. It will. Then tend to it. The rest can wait.


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